Never waver again. You can manifest your dream life without the burnout, without spiraling, without gripping so tightly that your desires run the other way. If you’ve been anxious, stuck in waiting mode, or wondering “Why isn’t it here yet?”—this is your reset button. Let’s talk about the crucial foundation in manifesting: the 3 pillars of emotional regulation.

Watch the Featured Video – Why manifesting isn’t working (and why It actually does)

Do Emotions Manifest?

Some people say that emotions can shape your reality. Well, not exactly your emotions but your emotional state. And more precisely: the state of consciousness known as the Kingdom of Heaven, because as above, so below. And we have to get to this state first to experience what we want in our 3D.

❌ And that doesn’t mean you suppress your emotions or ❌ pretend to be positive 24/7.

It means you learn to regulate your emotional state so deeply, that your energy becomes the invitation, so that you’re the energetical match to all that you desire.

If you’ve been struggling with this concept, check out my post on why emotions in manifesting matter – but not how you think.

Emotional healing happens through increased awareness. When you work on your awareness, you also heal.

Today, I’m sharing The 3 Pillars of Emotional Regulation – and how mastering them will completely shift how you manifest. Because Life is a game!

Your Current State Matters

Why is emotional regulation something I focus on? Well, would you be anxious or spiraling if you had what you wanted? No, you would be calm, grounded, grateful, fulfilled. And before we assume this state and make it our reality, there’s no chance to attract and, more importantly, KEEP what we want to manifest long-term. This is that Kingdom of Heaven.

Here’s the trap: You want something so badly it hurts. You visualize it, affirm it. You obsess. And when it doesn’t show up, your anxiety spikes, your faith drops – and you spiral.

It’s kind of funny when you think about it: We create this life – all of it, even if most of it is unconscious – and then we toss and turn, get anxious, and resist it… even though we’re the ones who created it in the first place. We manifest it… and then find a way to fight it. We try to free ourselves from the very net we cast around us.

It’s actually kind of mad when you think about it. But also? Kind of perfect. Because it shows us exactly where we’re still not at peace with ourselves.

Are you manifesting from fear?

You’re emotionally attached to the outcome. You’re not manifesting from peace – you’re manifesting from fear. Thinking that having your desire is the only way for you to feel better about yourself and your life. That your desires are your ticket to love, bliss, fulfilment, freedom, abundance. And that’s why emotional regulation isn’t just “nice to have.”

It’s everything.

So let’s break it down – because there are three core emotional shifts (pillars of emotional regulation) that completely change the game. Each of these pillars are achieved by consistently asking yourself these questions and being open to listen to the answers. And I personally think this approach can help people outside of manifesting community, because psychotherapy often doesn’t address these issues and I think that until we know that, we will always be lost and there will always be something within poking us, preventing peace and creating anxiety.

Pillar #1: Who are you? (Self-concept)

The first on of the pillars of emotional regulation is this: Ask yourself: Who am I when I already have what I want? Not what do I want – but who am I being?

This is about identity. Your I AM. By asking yourself daily and resting in your awareness, whether it’s through meditation or mindfulness, you expand your awareness. Are you the version of yourself who already feels love, freedom, abundance? Or are you someone waiting for those feelings to show up?

Don’t focus on changing from someone who didn’t feel worthy of love to someone who simply affirms that they are.

The way most people teach self-concept is just about swapping one false identity for another—maybe a slightly more favorable one, but still not the truth of who you are.

For more on this crucial concept, see my post how to work on your self-concept for love.

You are the awareness of being—God consciousness, the source.

Not this human persona. This character in the game of life you’re playing.

So why waste time trying to overwrite one illusion with another?

Your Ultimate Self-concept of I AM

When you resurrect daily into the I AM—your true nature—all the good things you seek—love, worthiness, health, money, relationships—are already implied.

t’s worth taking a note: Manifesting isn’t about convincing the universe. The universe already knows you’re perfect and says “yes” to everything. It’s about convincing yourself that it’s already yours. Because you cannot have what you don’t already have.

Life lived in awareness is the art of constantly letting the old self die, so you can return to your true nature—the I AM.

From this place, this awareness, all that happens can be simply observed as neutral events, even the unfavourable things. None of this matters because I know who I am. It must be a mistake. Not my thought, I’m simply the one observing it.

Pillar #2: What Do You Want? (Desire Clarity)

Desire isn’t random. It’s your soul showing you where your alignment is.

But many of us suppress our desires. We think they’re “too much” or “unrealistic.” That they’re too big or too difficult. And that creates anxiety—because ignoring your desires disconnects you from your purpose.

Without this crucial part of the pillars of emotional regulation, there will always be something that doesn’t allow you to feel the lasting peace.

Let yourself want what you want. That’s how you align with it. Whatever you’re able to imagine already exists—and it’s meant for you to experience.

But the 3D world? The people in it? They’ll try to humble you, put you in your place, and plant seeds of doubt so deep you might not even want to try. So why add your own doubts to it. Sometimes, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. It’s just their own limitations showing up. But you don’t have to buy into it. You can reject the thoughts that make you doubt.

Your only job is to know what you want—and clear the blocks that stand in the way.

That’s exactly what we’re doing here: introducing emotional regulation and letting go of mind identification.

How you get there? That’s not your business.

Your role is to accept that it’s already yours and enjoy the journey that’s unfolding.

Because you already know how this film ends—and when you know the ending, you don’t get rattled by the plot twists along the way.

Pillar #3: Can I Accept? (Surrender & Presence)

Now comes the hardest part for most people: acceptance.

Can you stop fighting reality, stop asking “Where is it?” and just… be?

And I know that many people think that I tell them to give up on their desire, let go of it and move on and accept what is.

But that’s not what I’m saying at all.

The 3D reality is always delayed. It’s a shadow of your past state. So if you resist what is, you’re fighting your own reflection.

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It means knowing it’s already done—and choosing peace now, not when it shows up.

That phase where you’re trying every technique, feeling like it should be here by now—and then spiraling into disappointment when it’s not? It’s not a mistake. It’s designed to exhaust you, to wear out all the doing and chasing, until you finally drop it all… and come home to your I AM. To being with yourself.

If this resonates with you, my post on why manifesting feels exhausting sometimes goes deeper into this experience.

To accepting every feeling, every emotion, every uncomfortable sensation—because feeling them is always safe. And actually, feeling them doesn’t delay your manifestation. It does the opposite. When you accept what is, you accept yourself .

Surrender means shifting internally

Because everything you see in the 3D is a mirror of your inner state. It never lies. It always works. 3D is YOU, but it’s also a shadow. Your 3D human character casts a 2D shadow. To move the shadow, you have to move yourself.

In the same way, to shift your 3D reality, you need to change your inner state—your identity, your sense of self. Who you’re being on the inside is what gets reflected on the outside.

To move the physical world, you must move spiritually first.

Highlight this in the comments or write it down also: When you resist your current reality, you’re not just resisting “what is”—you’re resisting your own past creation. You’re resisting yourself.

And that resistance is the wall between you and your desired reality. There’s no place for resistance in the version of your life where everything flows. Until you make peace with this part of yourself—through love and acceptance—you’ll stay stuck in that space where it feels close, almost here, but just out of reach.

Because you’re still looking to the desire to fulfill you. That’s attachment. And attachment repels what you want.

But acceptance?

Acceptance creates peace. Peace dissolves resistance. And until we learn how to dwell in that peace—in that state of calm, quiet wonder—we don’t manifest the life we desire.

Learn more about this process in my post what Is radical acceptance in 5 simple steps.

Your key shift

Here’s the biggest unlock: When you imagine having what you want, not to force it, but to enjoy it—you activate fulfilment. You detach. And that’s when things shift.

You stop needing. You start being. Use your imagination to occupy this state of already being, just fo the sake of the experience here and now.

And then carry this feeling, the naturalness of the state of your wish fulfilled in your daily life.

You become the version of yourself who naturally attracts the reality you want—not by chasing it, but by embodying it.

Conclusion

Let’s recap the 3 pillars of emotional regulation for manifestation:

• Who Are You? → Align with your self-concept. The ultimate self-concept of I AM.
• What Do You Want? → Honor your desires. They are for you.
• Can You Accept? → Let go, accept yourself and your creations and trust the process.

If you ignore the instincts and intuitive nudges to discover yourself more, who you are and what you truly desire in this life, there will always be something poking you, preventing you from achieving peace.

This is how you manifest from peace instead of pressure.

This is how you stop spiraling and start embodying.

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